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Thursday, July 14, 2016

A Funny Thing Happened While I Was Bellydancing...Vol. 2

All professional performers must be able to think on their feet. This goes double for bellydancers - we are all about that improv. In this blooper reel of a blog series, we shine a spotlight on some of the most ridiculous moments of our careers. Let the stories begin! 

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

After years of dancing in Egypt, I thought I had seen it all. 
I was in the middle of my show in a nightclub, and one of the regular customers had joined me on the stage. He was considered a VIP, who brought along an entourage and a bodyguard. It was all pretty normal, until he reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a real live snake. He started swinging the snake around his head, all the while dancing his heart out. 
I tried to be professional and continue the show, but I couldn't help backing away to create some distance between myself and the reptile. Thankfully, the stage manager had enough sense to make that my last song, and I was able to leave. Backstage, I found out the customer had a habit of dancing with his non-dangerous pet snake.
Venom or no venom, I hope next time he keeps his snake to himself. 
Vanessa - US / Egypt
Vanessa thought she had seen it all

THEY CALL IT BELLYDANCE FOR A REASON

My first short performance in Jalandhar, in the state of Punjab, went fine. When it was time for my second set, the organizer asked me to put on her black, fluffy winter coat, and dance in that. Apparently, some people in the audience were scandalized by my outfits. This happened sometimes in India - but there was no way in hell I was dancing in that ugly thing. I tried to explain that a winter coat wasn't the right way to cover up a bellydancer. 
"What's the problem?" she asked, "just put it on and get on the stage!"
I still refused. Instead, I wrapped myself in my bellydance veils. It was a much more elegant look - even if I say so myself.  
Janka - Slovakia
Janka keeping it covered

CHAMPAGNE ETC SHOWERS

I was hired to dance at a birthday at a lounge in Queens, New York. The whole party was inebriated by the time I arrived. The guest of honor could barely stand. I took a deep breath and told myself, "It's only twenty-five minutes of your life. Get in, do the show and go home." 
Immediately after my set, they popped the cork on several bottles of champagne and shot it in my direction like frothy canons. Did I mention the guest of honor was wasted? He held on to me for dear life as his feet gave out from under him. I was covered in a soup of dirty floor soot and champagne. I collected myself, found a plastic bag to gather my sopping wet tips and ran out. As I left I passed a man who was urinating on the side of the building. I startled him and he turned to face me, in mid-stream. Now I added pee on my ankle to the champagne and soot all over my expensive designer costume. In the meantime, a mixture of ice and snow had formed on the roads. A ride that should have been one hour became two and half hours. 
All in all, I made three hundred and fifty dollars. I would have paid as much to stay home and skip the entire night!
Pee on Tava once more, and she will end you
Pro bellydancers, submit your funny story at zainadance@gmail.com

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