Weddings, Weddings, and More Weddings in India

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Weddings in India are an extravagant affair. Those with money to spend go all out. A typical middle class wedding budget runs at about $100 000. This covers an outdoor party lawn with a gorgeous setup, a huge buffet dinner, non-stop performances - the whole nine yards.

In just a couple of months I've danced in countless weddings in Delhi and around. Sometimes I'm the only bellydancer, other times I'm one out of four or five. Indian dance groups perform to popular Bollywood songs. Some specialty acts include a human fountain, or a girl dancing in a giant martini glass. Western women are often hired as hostesses, whose tasks vary from greeting guests to cocktail waitressing. The more foreigners in the cast, the more prestige. 

Performers have a big stage all for themselves, the bride and the groom sit on a separate one. Typically we don't even see the happy couple throughout the whole event! In this respect an Indian wedding is very different from an Arabic or Western one. We are there to entertain the guests - not the newlyweds themselves. And entertain we do. 

Wedding venues are huge, and stages are big too.

Bride arriving for the wedding ceremony. All eyes and tons of cameras are on her. 

Life of Krishna dramatization. These silver painted dancers looked incredible.

With Poppy, an Indian dancer. This party had a carnival theme so my bellydance costume got tuned up with feathers.

As "bridesmaids" with Janka Redechova. In addition to bellydancing, we ushered the bride and the groom onto the stage. It was a great chance to see the wedding procession up close.

Getting Tattooed, Somali Style

Henna tattoos are a big part of women's wedding preparations in many Arab countries. The same is true for Somali culture. If you ever find yourself in Hargeisa, Somaliland, you should definitely give it a try.

Enter the central market, and walk through the food section. if you look closely at the walls behind the vending tables, you may spot a picture of hands with henna tattoos. Or just ask someone to show you where they are. Remember to be female. The henna salons are just tiny rooms closed with curtains - a strict no-go zone for men. Take off your niqab (face covering) if you are wearing one, and your shoes, and sit down on the mat to wait for your turn. Most Somali women get brown Henna, but red is available as well. For hands only, brown costs $3 and red $4.

Waiting for my red henna to dry

All done!

Brown henna

This gave me a flashback of the Sahrawi wedding I attended in Laayoune, in the occupied Western Sahara. Both Somaliland and Western Sahara are unrecognized states. They are at the opposite ends of the African continent, yet they have things in common, such as henna. Incredible!

Married Sahrawi women get both hands and feet tattooed. Laayoune, Western Sahara 2012

I thoroughly enjoyed the Somali wedding. I'm a lucky, lucky traveler. Hargeisa, you're too good to me!

Sweet Shanghai

China's visa policy used to be very stiff. Now they're giving out free 72-hour transit visas. I'll take it! I spent two full days in Shanghai on my way from Phuket to New York. You can eat many things in that time. Here are a few sweet examples. (Ok, I didn't eat EVERY one of these. Guess which one I skipped.)

Fried pumpkin balls. Traditional Chinese dessert, yummy and gooey!

Peanuts / red beans with ice cream and waffle. A treat in one of the thousands of Shanghai malls.

A Hello Kitty cake. Meeow! How cute is that?

Candied apples and strawberries. Sold on streets everywhere.

A coco cream puff at Pudong airport. Ending things on a good note.

I'll have to return for that Hello Kitty cake sometime. (The big one.)

Star Wars Tour in Tunisia

Disclaimer: I've never seen a Star Wars movie in my life. I don't know the difference between that and Star Trek. Fantasy and Scifi are among the few film genres I don't particularly enjoy. I walked out of the first Lord of the Rings thirty minutes in, and I would rather read the memoir of Sarah Palin than any given Harry Potter book.

However, the Star Wars sightseeing in Tunisia is thoroughly enjoyable even for someone like me. Most of the "film sets" are old Berber buildings - strange-looking structures designed to keep grains intact, or people comfortable, in the scorching desert heat, before there was electricity. They are worth seeing with or without the Star Wars brand.

All of these locations are in the reach of the independent traveler. Tunisia is well-connected by buses and louages (minivans, smaller and faster), and hiring private cars at the destinations won't break the bank.

Ksar Ouled Soltane

First stop: TATAOUINE, in the Southeast. In Arabic it's spelled t-T-w-i-n, so one of the transliteration options is Tatooine. (Yes, Tatooine actually exists on the map, in the Tunisian Sahara.) Once there, hire a taxi for the day, to get into the surrounding abandoned Berber villages. Among them you will find Ksar Ouled Soltane and Ksar Hedada (also spelled Hadada) - both were used as slave quarters in Star Wars: the Phantom Menace.

Ksar Hedada

Move onto the nearby town of MATMATA. See Hotel Sidi Driss, its interior was used as Luke Skywalker's home. It is an old troglodyte dwelling, basically a hole in the ground, later converted into a functioning hotel. Go on, have a sleepover at Luke's.

Hotel Sidi Driss

Then, travel to TOZEUR in the Southwest of the country. Once there, hire a 4WD through a local travel agent to get to Ong Jamel. That is a rock formation in the desert, also seen in the movies. The town of Mos Espa lies nearby. This site is an artificial one: a movie set built into the desert, and left there after the filming ended. Sand dunes are moving in and covering the set more and more each year, so the best time to visit is right now.

Mos Espa

Between Tozeur and KABILY lies Chott el Jerid, a giant salt lake. This was the location of Lars Homestead, Luke's house was supposedly here. An enormous white surface, it really looks like another planet.

Chott el Jerid

There are many amazing things to see in these areas, each town invites thorough exploration. Going to these places is in no way overlooking the real Tunisia. The Star Wars attractions only work to enhance what is already there - a beautiful country and people, who will warmly welcome you. Have fun and may the force be with you, like the hobbits say.

How I Met Haile

The man with the million dollar smile!

Haile Gebrselassie is a name that brings me back to my childhood. I remember watching him on TV with my family. It's the early 90's, and the young Ethiopian long distance runner has just emerged on the world stage. He leaves his competition behind and everyone else in awe. This guy is incredible! My father in particular admires him. Somehow the story of a boy, who ran ten kilometers to school and back each day barefoot, resonates with him. Haile runs with his left arm crooked, as if holding a pile of invisible school books. Indeed, he is a sports hero of the purest kind. No coaching, no special diet, not even SHOES - this world champion is the product of good old-fashioned talent and mad resilience.

Fastforward to 2014, and I'm in Addis Ababa for the second time. A little bird has told me the location of Haile's office on Bole Road and I'm ready to raid the building. I begin at the gym downstairs, where he works out every day. (I'm guessing he likes the treadmill. And it's HIS gym, by the way.) Perhaps that's an appropriate place to bother the busy entrepreneur? A little embarrassed, I ask the receptionist what time I might find him there. She tells me it won't be until much later. "But if you want to talk to him now, you can go upstairs to his office and ask his secretary." Well then! I do just that. I have to wait all of ten minutes while Haile is in a meeting, and then I'm invited in.

Now, showing up unannounced like this is a little on the audacious side. But my audacity is rewarded. Haile is very friendly and personable. He graciously welcomes me and sits down to talk to me. I have a present for him: a scarf and a little good luck charm from Tunisia, and a box of chocolate-covered dates from Dubai. (I happen to think those dates are amazing, and a suitable gift for anyone from running legends to doctors and their offspring. Besides, Olympic winners eat chocolate for breakfast, everybody knows that.) Haile asks me about my life, trying to understand where it is that I live and work, which often gets people confused. I explain the whole dancing and traveling scenario. "You are a very special person" he says to me. That's kind of crazy to hear from someone who has set twenty world records. From a country boy to a star athlete to a successful entrepreneur, Haile's had a wild ride. But you can tell by his warmth that none of that got to him. He's still that boy with no shoes, only now running a business empire. And THAT is true greatness. That is why it was such an honor to meet him.

Pandora's (In)Box

Manish had a question for me.

"hey..r u a belly dancer..??"

One day while browsing my Newsfeed I saw a friend talk about his "other" inbox.
"What is that?" I asked.
He explained that next to my Inbox, I too had a folder named "Other", which absorbed spam and messages from non-friends. I can't keep up with Facebook. Mark should tell me these things!

You know the story of Pandora? According to the Greek, Zeus gave Pandora this beautiful box, telling her not to open it no matter what. But that silly girl went and opened it anyhow, and BOOM! Out came years worth of promotional spam and sexual frustration. And since that day, every woman on Facebook has been cursed with a Box of their own.

A lot of the stuff in Zaina's Box could be summarized as just "hi...can we be friendz...??", but others had more substance. 

"Are you a real belly dancer? I thought muslim countries don't have belly dancers. Im muslim so im just curious." -Namis

I think Namis is very, very confused.

"hi i need to talk with u soon in job .and i get ur name on fb from friend to u .but answer soon plz not time .tnx"

Man! I can't believe I missed that opportunity in job! This sounds TOTALLY legit.

"I like u r puctur n profile."

Not sure which puctur I had at the time, but I'm glad he liked it.

"Hello!! Lady!!!! Can we become friends???" - Myles

Hello!! Dude!!! No???

"hi, i know u have seen my FR but u r hesitant to accept! no need to worry from dear i just like to be ur close friend in bahrain...u r amazing with special senses!"

Pheew, I was so worried that he may not want to be my close friend. However, my special senses tell me not to speak to him.

A quick query among my friends produced similar results. Bellydancers are online creeper MAGNETS. A take from Shayma's Box:

Shayma

"really u look so sweet, i want to be real friend , send me ur number to talk , i have only 20 days for my vacation" - Kamal

Twenty days of real friendship. Who could refuse?

"hi hwzz u whr u frm??cute pix..." - Shibin

Would it kill Shibin to use actual words?

"U like to have a feet massage !?" - Tareq

Don't we all, Tareq, don't we all.

Siham

 Siham's Box included one of the more coherent messages. You would almost think he typed it with two hands.

"I hope you don't mind me saying, but you have to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen!!!  You look like an Arabian Princess in your outfit!

Would it be okay if I were to ask you a kinda silly question? Well, I'm a little nervous to ask but here goes. I was wondering if you might consider the thought of having a servant boy?  Like someone to do all your cleaning, running errands, hold your umbrella, stuff like that? I just thought you looked like an Arabian Princess.  Like in those movies where the Princess is being carried on one of those fancy carriage things, carried by four male slaves while another slave fans her with those peacock feathers. Know what I mean?" - Kenny

We know exactly what Kenny means. Those fancy carriage things, peacock feather fans, slaves, the usual stuff. I don't think this poor servant boy from the States even realizes Siham is a professional dancer, not a girl playing dress-up.

Athena Najat

Here's a couple of winners from Athena's Box.

"mam am body massager  special in belly dancer body  special in backbone hipe  thai  legs foot foot finger shoulder hand hand finger mam my massage full reluxe the body she feel come in the world in born new baby mam thailand world massage center she lady call me in thailand i will go thailand in 20011 mam i want a massage job my mobile no 00923******** my am male am 48 year old am 25 year above experince in massage" - Sarfraz

I just have a couple of questions to Mr. Sarfraz. Judging by the number, he's in Tajikistan. Would mam Athena need to move there, should she decide to hire him? And, who the hell makes plans for the year 20011?

"hioo ..good morning iam ahmed from arab republic of EGYPT.. iam inetrsted in u so much ... can u accept adding me in ur frind list .... woww i see u wear belly dancing clothes .... can u really dance egyptian dance i feel woww ..... u know i live in giza 10 minutes from pyramids... can u add me soon....thanks iam waiting ur reply" - Ahmed

I hear you Ahmed! I feel woww when I see Athena's pictures too!

One person stood out in the crowd. We'll call him the Poet. He'd sent me a whole bunch of messages. If you read closely, you can hear the South Asian accent. Here are some of my favorite lines. The entire "poems" are WAY too long to repeat here.

"when i think of you i became fragrant, your scent is resided in my soul"

"there is some magic in your eyes, hide me under the shade of your lashes"

"The world is your ouster, and it ponders on an opportunity to show its gratitude to you for your graceful aura which you sprinkle in every ambiance."

What?

"the morning blue sky awaits your rainbow smile....so :)"

See what he did there!

"The heavens need to bestow in your life a Prince (...) who when would be in your presence would feel champagne falling from the heavens." 

Look, before you get mad jealous, it wasn't me that caused that leakage of champagne. The Poet was sending the same stuff to just about EVERY bellydancer and their mother. His friend list also included many women who appeared to be, how to put this now, adult entertainers.

I decided to play a little. I wrote a message to the Poet.

"Wow, you write such captivating poems. You truly are a man of eloquence and creativity. But I'm a little sad since you have sent the same poems to many other dancers...now would you write something just for me? Looking forward." 
I stopped short of calling him the Rumi of our generation. I'm not that mean.

Here's a sample of what I inspired in him. The whole thing is much, much longer.

"your style is a killer Zaina

how can one not sacrifice for you?

your body is a spark"

"my body feels a fire

your face such a heart-tempter"

"Your gaze of of sensuality bedazzled the town folk of Madrid

Let the ladies backstage be envious of your dance"

I could only muster a one word in response.

"Madrid?"
"Don't you live in the Madrid?"
"Never been to Madrid in my life."

Must be hard to keep track of all the bellydancers in the world.

The Poet went on to ask where it was that I lived, and if I liked what he'd written for me. I didn't respond. Soon another poem followed, something about tears of love and waiting for the message of my homecoming. Well. I'm not going to Spain anytime soon, if that's what he meant.

However, it's not all about us girls. Guys can make champagne fall from the heavens too. Here's the proof from Luna's Box.

Luna

"Hi luna I am Saudi gay arab man, i am big fan of your dancing.  You know what mean to be gay in Saudi Arabia, it very difficult for me." - Abdullah

She ignored him. He wrote back later:

"Luna you know I am big fan, you can trust me. I want give you rent for to spend night with your musician. Please you can help me with this."

NOW we've heard it all. I don't dare imagine how Luna's Egyptian band would react if they knew some dude was fantasizing about them.

Amar Lammar

Let's crack open Amar's Box. The plot thickens.

"hi Amar, iam from Saudi Arabia but iam gay and I love to wear girly  even I look very manly anyway as you know in Saudi Arabia its difficult for people to accept me as who iam. can we be plz friends" - Abdullah

I know I know, it's hard out there for an online perv, in Saudi or anywhere. But why is a gay guy contacting WOMEN? Something is not adding up here.

"Sherlock Holmes was an idiot and Robert Watt was a fool.One was a detective,the other invented radar.But neither of them ever discovered you.I’m a genius!so can i be ur friend?" - Ahmed

I feel woww.

A Little Dabke in Palestine! See Video :)

I love watching any type of dance. And I ESPECIALLY love watching children dance. Which is why coming across a kids' Dabke rehearsal was such a pleasant surprise.

Let me explain where this happened. You know Bethlehem? As in the Bible? Just a few miles from the spot where Jesus (supposedly) was born, lies the Dheisheh refugee camp. Housing some ten thousand Palestinian refugees, it's also home to a children's folk dance troupe.

Graffiti art on the streets of Dheisheh

It is not a new camp. The original residents of Dheisheh fled the fighting, or were expelled from their villages, in the wake of the founding of Israel in 1948. Like all refugee camps, this too started out as a tent city, a temporary dwelling place for those with nowhere to go. Six decades later, these kids were born here. Their kids will probably be born here. There are lots of camps like this all around the West Bank.

Back in the 50's it still looked like a temporary camp

Want to see for yourself? You can. From Bethlehem, take a taxi to the Ibdaa Cultural Center at the entrance of the Dheisheh camp. There is a nice, cheap guesthouse too, so you can stay the night. I warmly recommend it.

Here's a clip from the rehearsal: